Tune in to Alan Jones on 2GB at 7.25am each Friday

to hear him recite Muz's latest poem




I was flicking through the paper and found the Classifieds

I normally take no notice but one ad caught my eye

There it was “Position Vacant” and under “Occupation”

It said in big black letters “LEADER OF THE NATION”

I thought “That sounds ok, maybe not the job for me”

“But why not check it out, I mean how hard could it be?”

It read “The Lucky Country’s desperate, it’s just not bloody right

“We’re drowning in a sea of debt with no relief in sight,

“Health and Hospitals are buggered, Education’s not too flash

“The banks are playing up and folks are running out of cash

“The current mob in charge well they seem stark-raving mad

“And the ones who want to take their place are just as bloody bad

“We’re in a bloody tailspin, we’ve got our backs against the wall

“But when all is said and done, not much gets done at all

“They throw big money at big problems so they can tick the boxes

“But it’s just like leaving chickens to be guarded by the foxes

“There’s no accountability, where does the money go?

“You ask for explanations but no one bloody knows

“We go and borrow money to give to countries overseas

“Just to make us look good – explanation please!

“Meanwhile we’ve got farmers fighting drought, small business going broke

“Local charities in strife, it really is a joke

“We get taxed a bloody lot and that would be okay

“If they knew how to spend it wisely – but at the back end of the day

“The cost of living’s through the roof, we pay way too much for power,

“Sell our gas for bugger-all, well cometh now the hour

“To stop the bloody rot, because the list goes on and on

“If we don’t do something now The Lucky Country will be gone

“So we need a solid team, no sycophants or bludgers,

“No weird agendas or vendettas, no one who carries grudges

“Don’t even think about it if you’re prone to telling lies

“And if you’ve studied politics PLEASE DO NOT APPLY!

“Business knowledge is essential plus lots of common sense

“We want folks who’ll make tough calls, no sitting on the fence.

“Check your ego at the door, throw excuses in the bin

“Be prepared to make the sacrifice to fight until you win.

“We need the ANZAC Spirit, mates out helping mates,

“For the benefit of all, that’s what makes this country great.

“So if you think you’ve got a team that can more than make the grade

“If your squad can walk the walk and can call a spade a spade

“If you’ll charge into the fray without any fear of failure

“Send your application to The People of Australia.

“No references required, just a contact number’s fine

“But, please, make it bloody quick because we’re running out of time!”


And you know, now I’ve bloody read it I just might give it a shot,

Well let’s face it,

My mates and I can’t do much worse than the bozoes that we’ve got!


© Murray Hartin


  April 2018

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