I don’t know what your Supreme Being of choice had in mind when he or she created the earth but I wonder if they’re happy with how it’s all panned out.
I wonder if they’re leaning back in the swivel chair, feet up on the desk, sipping on a chilled Ambrosia Daiquiri singing “I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts”.
I’m not sure if Supreme Beings have other Supreme Beings to hang out with, by definition I’d suggest not, but if they did, well, they might be in for a bit of a shock.
“Warren, I know you love the earth, it’s been your favourite project but have you had a close look at it lately?”
The word “lately” is very important in this scenario.
One Supreme Being year is the equivalent of about a 100,000 human years – it makes the dog year comparison look fairly ordinary.
Anyway, if Warren decides to go on holidays for a couple of weeks he could miss out on some really serious stuff.
That’s how the dinosaurs were wiped out.
Warren went skiing, a couple of meteors got a bit out whack, Crash Boom Bang, no more Stegasaurus.
The dinosaurs were too big anyway, an early prototype which was not sustainable, so, no big deal.
Over time Warren did some wonderful things with some beautiful creatures but he may well have added a tad too much intelligence when he was putting man together.
He read the recipe as a tablespoon when it was really a teaspoon – an easy mistake to make – stuck it in the oven and went backpacking for a month.
And with that extra helping of intelligence, while Warren was kayaking in some outer galaxy, man fashioned weapons from wood and stone, harnessed fire and created the wheel.
And that’s where it all went to hell in a handbasket, whatever that means.
Man’s extra intelligence upset the whole applecart giving him an unfair advantage over the animals he was supposed to be afraid of.
The hunted became the hunter, which removed the natural culling process designed to keep human numbers at a manageable level.
Then, while Warren was having a quick nude hang glide in the Milky Way, man developed vaccines, medicines, artificial organs and transplant technology to keep more people alive who were supposed to be heading for the longest sleep of all.
Natural selection went out the window, population exploded, drought, famine, war, oil, war, ego, war, religion, war.
But if we still think we are the bees knees, even though we’re doing our level best to destroy all of Warren’s work, just wait until Warren gets back and has a good look under the microscope.
When he sees what’s happened we could all be headed for a big party with the dinosaurs.
The earth will remain and Warren will try again.
Starting with a rainbow.
